still learning

wow, what a weekend. A lot of this weekend was about me facing things i don't necessarily like about myself. not to sound like poor, pitiful me or anything but the last few days have been pretty rough just learning some stuff about myself that is upsetting but also hopefully will make me better off in the long run. i had some interesting reactions to situations i wouldn't have guessed would make me act so weird or feel so down... so as usual i decided to think so much about it my head started hurting and i ended up crying. sometimes crying is good though and i seriously do feel a lot better now(might be the 5 kinds if medicine i am taking for my illness but whatever!) i haven't slept well the last few nights either which doesn't really help alleviate the emotions or stress so hopefully once i am done with my papers and tests i can relax and realize life shouldn't be this hard!

Luckily tonight i got to go to ruf leadership dinner which is pretty much exactly what i needed to make myself feel better and even be a little social. i also got to "study" outside with my sweet friends which really made the day that much more beautiful! It's amazing how a change in weather and scenery can really make you feel 10 times better and change the mood also. i have had a lot of time to just sit and think about everything and find time to myself over the weekend which is really important to me. i don't function very well without some alone time. so while i was supposed to be studying for my research exam i also fit in some time to process my thoughts on life and myself and that's where the real learning happened i think. it's funny how sometimes i think i have myself figured out but then someone points something out or i am in a situation i am not prepared for, and i am a totally different person than i thought. that happened this weekend but i think now i am understanding more which is what college is all about- not just understanding school stuff but understanding people, including myself.

Well that's enough deep stuff for now, until next time! ha hopefully it will be a little more lighthearted...