remember me???

oh wow.... i don't even know where to start at this point. i am looking at pretty much everything i own right now which is covering the floor of my bedroom (still not in suitcases!) getting ready for what i hope will be the best trip of my life. i leave tomorrow night for london and am feeling a little bit of everything right now. i am a little bit worried about the first leg of my trip since i will bbe getting to london friday morning, flying to jerez, spain on saturday and getting on a bus to cadiz to see annie! talk about a little jet lag. i thought i would be totally fine traveling all by myself around south of spain but now i am pretty relieved that taylor is coming with me! soo weird to think that this time last year we were studying down there and living the life. i never thought i would be back a year later to see it-and eat the gelato- again. my life really can't get much better at this point. so while i am still anxious to see how all that traveling works out, i am extremely excited to live in london and live the day-to-day there. with all the excitement i am also pretty nervous that this won't all live up to how i have built it up and hope i can just sit back and let myself take it all in. hopefully my summer last summer taught me how to do that better and i think i will be able to soak it all up. i am so pumped to meet all the people on my trip and live with katie! our location in london couldn't be much better so that is already setting us up for an amazing time! so many people are coming through london this summer too- whitney and forbes, alison nester, haley gardner, and my sis are all going to come at some point so it willl be refreshing to see all of them. well, i am going to attempt some sleep now- wish me luck and look for some more interesting updates from the other side of the pond shortly!

where is everyone?

after about two days of staring at my room and hoping the boxes would pack themselves, i finally broke down and starting putting my life away. i have way too many picture frames and whatnot, i decided. how in the world did i accumulate so much stuff and how does it not even look like i have made progress?! i really wish i lived a little bit neater so that this would all be a breeze. my mom is coming up tomorrow to take a load back so i am not stuck like i was last year with no help! i so reallllly wish i was done with school like so many people are but i really don't want to leave athens yet at all. i haven't gotten a chance to see everyone i wanted to before summer snuck up on us and now so many people have already left. so sad!

i haven't really felt like being extremely social lately though which is kind of weird considering i am not going to see anyone for about 3 months. not really sure why i have been in such a funk but i am just going to attribute it to finals?! even though i am not that stressed so its not all that. anyways i hope i perk up soon before i am hanging out in the ec bored out of my mind! i am pretty excited to see my family and La and jess though! i miss them all! ok well now that i have avoided being productive for another thirty minutes, i guess i should get back to it. more thoughts soon though because once i am in marietta we know i'll have lots of time on my hands...

everything in moderation.

after completely stressing about everything for about 2 days, i decided i needed to take a step back and relax a little until i really need to study/ do my projects. i think i'll be much more productive if i have slept and maybe even gotten a tiny tan! so thats what i did yesterday and then accidentely slept in today... guess i needed it?!

I started taking all of my stuff down in my room too and packing it into some boxes which is pretty sad. as ready as i am for not having to go to school and do group projects, i am not ready to say goodbye to athens. i am reaaally going to miss this place and everyone here. i thought that by junior year i would be used to saying goodbye and knowing how it is when you get back in august, but it really doesn't get easier. especially after we just had senior banquet and i am NOT ready to be a senior whatsoever. i would like to just freeze the time after finals and stay there forever. i am pretty excited to get to see my friends at home though since i didn't really get that chance last year. well, get ready because i am making this(probably my last) summer the best one yet!!! it has a lot to live up to from last year though that's for sure....

annie and i went to meet with the landlord yesterday which made it finally real that we officially have the cutest house in athens for next year with the best group of neighbors ever so everyone absolutely must come visit all time! after two years of not really being able to invite people over or entertain or cook, i am definitely ready to have a place where i can do all of those things. also, i couldn't ask for a better roommate :) so even if it is our last year or whatever i think i have some pretty amazing things ahead and will still be learning as much as i can about life before i hit the big time. can't wait!

high strung?? not me....

i can't even believe how stressed out i have been and how much i have let school get to me. i like to think that most of the time i manage my stress and don't take it out on other people but clearly lately that has not been the case. I have been living and breathing projects and tests and i am sooo over it. i really think sometimes i should just take my own advice and let it go! i mean if you read my posts from a couple weeks ago, i said i was "getting perspective" and realizing what was important. then one bad week comes along and i throw that all out the window and get all high strung. not cool, bonnie.

i did get to be a little social this weekend though and went to twilight and then renee's videopalooza party to see the video from cadiz last year. made me sad to see all the places we went but it was sooo fun to hang out with everyone and we played an awesome/hilarious trivia game. twilight is always really fun too because athens just feels so full of energy and has the neatest atmosphere. i didn't see any cool crashes though so that was kind of sad...haha i am kinda morbid today i guess! oops.

well today is kind of a short post because, like i said, i have no life right now outside of school so not much else is going on. sad day. look for more updates when i get my life back...

a little inspiration

ok tonight is all about me bragging on hero. OMG we have already raised over $78,500 in just four months which is more than all of last year combined!!!!!! We ALSO won best organization of the year and 2007 best campus event for the hero olympics so it's safe to say we are kind of on a high right now! i could not be more proud to be a part of it all even in the smallest bit and see how enthusiastic all the committee members are...one girl has already brought in $3500- i mean, i think she might be insane but it works out great for us. anyways that was just the perfect boost for what has easily the most stressful week of my college career. two papers, 3 tests, a presentation, and 2 projects later i am alive to tell about it but it's hard to go the whole week and not really have time to just chill and hang out with the people i care the most about. i realllly don't function well like this but i'm just gonna keep truckin' til next week when this is all almost over. crazy to think it's so close to summer now- i'm not ready to be a senior! i'm really not, like that is not a joke in the least. i am not ready to say goodbye to some of my favorite people who will be leaving me shortly for bigger and better things in the world :(

enough about the sad stuff, i just got back from dinner with some of the people i went to spain with last summer and who i definitely have not seen enough of this semester. if someone had told me this time last year that i would come back with such an incredibly close group of friends after that trip, i would have told them they were crazy but that is exactly what happened! more so than so many of my friends who have gone on study abroad trips, our group is just amazingly close and get along great and really do(minus this semester) see a good amount of each other. we pretty much go to dinner once a month at least and have big blowout parties like twice a semester which is a lot considering we all have other friends and things going on. these people are amazing. i know i talk about my spain trip and all the people from it way too much, but they are so much a part of why i have been so happy this year and just so fulfilled after last summer. they made that trip what it was and every time we hang out i am reminded of how much FUN we have even though we have been back for almost a year(sooo crazy to think about!). just shows me how God placed each of those people there for a distinct purpose and i am so very appreciative of the time we got to spend there. the group i am going to london with has a lot to live up to in my eyes! just kidding. but seriously...

haha well grey's is about to start and helen and annie and maybe waud are coming to watch with me- hooray!
more thoughts on my life later-

still learning

wow, what a weekend. A lot of this weekend was about me facing things i don't necessarily like about myself. not to sound like poor, pitiful me or anything but the last few days have been pretty rough just learning some stuff about myself that is upsetting but also hopefully will make me better off in the long run. i had some interesting reactions to situations i wouldn't have guessed would make me act so weird or feel so down... so as usual i decided to think so much about it my head started hurting and i ended up crying. sometimes crying is good though and i seriously do feel a lot better now(might be the 5 kinds if medicine i am taking for my illness but whatever!) i haven't slept well the last few nights either which doesn't really help alleviate the emotions or stress so hopefully once i am done with my papers and tests i can relax and realize life shouldn't be this hard!

Luckily tonight i got to go to ruf leadership dinner which is pretty much exactly what i needed to make myself feel better and even be a little social. i also got to "study" outside with my sweet friends which really made the day that much more beautiful! It's amazing how a change in weather and scenery can really make you feel 10 times better and change the mood also. i have had a lot of time to just sit and think about everything and find time to myself over the weekend which is really important to me. i don't function very well without some alone time. so while i was supposed to be studying for my research exam i also fit in some time to process my thoughts on life and myself and that's where the real learning happened i think. it's funny how sometimes i think i have myself figured out but then someone points something out or i am in a situation i am not prepared for, and i am a totally different person than i thought. that happened this weekend but i think now i am understanding more which is what college is all about- not just understanding school stuff but understanding people, including myself.

Well that's enough deep stuff for now, until next time! ha hopefully it will be a little more lighthearted...

overwhelmed

Ever since everything that happened on monday i have just kind of been thoughtful and not feeling very social at all. it is probably a combination of all of the tragedy and also the fact that school is hanging over my head and causing a little stress. but at the same time when i feel myself complaining about my unfortunate stress or whatever i have to realize how small my worries really are compared to what else is going on in the world. as always, a little perspective goes a long way... my heart still goes out to everyone at virginia tech as they attempt to not only understand what happened but also come to terms with their loss. i hope there are more stories of heroism and courage in the face of whatever monster could so something like that. i have been grappling with the idea that one "human" could have that much evil inside. what he did was not human. something bigger than humanity was at play in that person's mind and that is extremely terrifying and hard to comprehend- even a little bit. i like John Mayer's lyrics that "the heart of life is good" but you have to wonder which life really is good. i know i don't believe this is all we have to look forward to, especially when things like this are going on and there is so much pain. it's just really overwhelming to think about, even for me all the way down here in georgia so i cannot imagine how the students at Va Tech are dealing.

One other thing that really has been laying on my heart though is how much good we have the ability to do with our time. I had my last hero committee meeting tonight and just knowing that all of those college students are using time they could be doing tons of other things to instead raise money and help our cause, my faith in people gets really strong. i see the good we have been able to accomplish already and that makes me feel comforted that there really is so much more good around even amongst such evil.

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On a lighter note- if anyone was riding in the milledge bus i was running alongside of yesterday that then shut the door in my face when i got to it, i bet you had a good laugh. it was not my best moment on the milledge bus line i have to say. mean driver... oh, and i was running with coffee in my hands(yes i was that girl). anything i can do to provide a little entertainment for y'all!